Books and More

I recently came across this post on Facebook, and wondered if someone went inside my head and stole my thoughts! Ignoring the fact that a book is incapable of doing what alcohol can ;), I wish with all my heart for this to be the norm soon.

Good books give me goosebumps. Sometimes, in a bus or a train, I see someone reading a book by one of my favorite authors, and I feel a compelling urge to approach them and strike up a conversation. When people ask me what gift they should give me for birthday/anniversary/christmas/festivals/farewell/..., I say books (and chocolates), unabashedly. Everytime I go home, I visit the local book-markets and buy atleast a dozen to bring them with me. Not that I manage to read them all, and the numbers on my 'to-read' list pile up. But their mere presence on the study rack lifts up the mood after a hard day. I borrow books as well, from friends and colleagues and relatives and whoever is willing enough to let me lay my evil hands on their books. The reason I say 'evil hands' is that once I borrow a book and fall in love with it, I find it physically painful to part ways and do not return it- until the owner threatens me with dire consequences. :D 

In college, I had a couple of friends who shared similar passion and we stayed up all night and discussed books. In the process, we identified with every female character we read about, drew parallels with our lives, shed buckets of tears and wondered how everyone else carried on with their lives as though we hadn't experienced "emotional trauma at the hands of a paperback".

On a personal note, Jeffrey Archer happens to be one of my favorite fiction-authors. When the first book of the five-book series 'The Clifton Chronicles' released  in 2011, the best friend (who, unfortunately, has been the victim of my not-returning-books habit almost always) said to me that each subsequent book would be a birthday gift, for the next four years. Now, as I turn the pages of the third book of the series in these wee hours, the scribbling on the first page makes me happy and sad at the same time :)

The story of Yin and Yang

She would always get annoyed when he lectured on her immaturity. On most days she would approach him with an emotional problem, all hyper and excited and asking for advice, and he in turn would just ask her to be patient and calm. "You never give me a concrete advice, only tell me stupid philosophical stuff that solves nothing. What's the point of being calm when the problem is not solved in the end?" she would ask angrily. In response, he would say that the key to mental peace was to be able to handle a crisis calmly, angering her even more. 

Often, she would think how two people could be so much different. There she was- chatterbox and a social butterfly, excessively extrovert, hyperactive most of the time, and sensitive; while he was- practical with strong principles, a quiet listener, lazy, and completely at peace with everything around. She would wonder how he was capable of not reacting to situations, not getting angry, and could stay calm most of the time. During fights, she would throw the choicest of words at him, and he would listen without any argument or protest. After awhile of one-sided blood-boiling conversation, he would finally say "Do not get so angry, you'll get a headache otherwise". Often at that point, she would rush out of the door, contemplating murder and wondering if he was the biggest mistake of her life. Later at night, she would lay awake in bed and wonder how perfect life would have been if they hadn't been so dissimilar. 

Then one day, her wish was granted. She was complaining about something, when suddenly he turned to her and let out a loud grunt. With that, he started replying to her every complaint, pointing out her faults one by one. Dumbstruck and alarmed, she tried to put forth her claims but was silenced again and again. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and being unable to hide them, she ran inside. Later that night, she stayed up in bed with swollen eyes and thought how scary and emotionally draining counter-arguments were. "I need to have a proper talk with him in the morning", she decided before dozing off. 

The morning turned out to be no different from the day before. She tried to talk, but got no response from him. He uttered not a word, and quietly sipped tea. "Are you listening to me? Can we atleast have a sensible talk about the whole issue?" she asked. "I do not want to talk, please leave me alone", he flatly said without looking up. Like a bolt of lightning, it struck her then. "That's not him, that's how I am! I am the one who fights and gets angry. I am the one who shouts and screams, and later needs to be pacified. I am the one who gets agitated and starts complaining. I am the one who is immature and not capable of handling a problem peacefully. That's all me!" She stood there, stunned into silence by the realization, and prayed for him to be his old self again. Later that night, as she laid in bed with her head on his shoulders, she noticed for the first time how complete a picture the incompletenesses drew.

Yin and Yang. That's what they have been called ever since.

The other wonder of Rome

One usually associates Rome with the ancient Roman civilization, the Renaissance, Julius Caesar, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, the Vatican, a spectacle of ancient and medieval buildings, fountains, museums, squares and ofcourse, Dan Brown. But with this, probably never :D

En-route to the Colosseum. Incredibility and perseverance, at their best.

Old messages

Re-reading old G-talk chats and text messages gives me happiness like no other! On days like these, when the mind fails to concentrate on the work at hand and wanders off to uncharted territories, the age-old chat histories bring a smile. I close my eyes, mentally climb on a time-machine, and go back to the time when texting and chatting seemed synonymous to breathing. As a tsunami of memories comes rushing in, I try to remember a younger me- in a crowded bus, in the middle of a boring social gathering, during lectures and seminars, or late into the night- typing, erasing and typing again, non-stop. I read the anxious chat messages of being newly in love, the angry and uncomfortable texts after childish fights, the texts sent out of boredom, short messages before a date or after reaching home safely, conscious texts on account of complicated situations, long chats on nothing in particular, and a strange calmness paralyses me. I wonder what I must have felt during all those times, and realize how different people and things have been back then. I feel no bitterness, or anger at the fact that those days might never return. Instead, I take a deep breath and feel the sides of the cheeks being pulled into a small wide-armed U.

On a completely irrelevant note, while writing this, a picture came to my mind. I had found it months ago while checking out a link online, and had wondered if there was anything more perfect than it. The warmth of a hot bath, smell of scented candles, the joy of reading a good book, a cup of brewing coffee, distant thoughts, and a tug at the heartstrings. Bittersweet, yes that's how I feel too. 

The year that it was

As I sit back and flash upon the year gone by, various thoughts and memories crowd my head. One more year gone by, one year less to achieve all the things I wish for, one more year to painfully remind me of being on the wrong side of twenty, and one year less to finish the PhD. But, overall, it had been a good year, not spectacularly eventful perhaps, but quite a good one nonetheless. So, as an act of thankfulness and reciprocity, I dedicate the first post of the new year to the surprisingly well-behaved 2013.

It was a year when two of my best friends got married, and for the first time ever, I felt like a mother- delighted and at peace to have finally seen the loved ones well-settled, but with a tinge of jealousy and possessiveness for having to share my property with complete strangers :-\

It was a year when two other close friends and an elder sister had their first babies, and I realized that mere pictures of these bundles of joys were capable enough to lift up the mood in a jiffy.

It was the year when I went to my first ever international conference, in Nice, and gave my first academic talk in a room full of scholars. Apart from the nausea and the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling the entire time, I also figured how breathtakingly beautiful the Mediterranean was. It was also the time that came with the sadness of people lost and happiness of finding new people to share moments with.

It was the year when the parents visited me in Germany for the first time ever and I lived a dream with them; a dream of seeing and showing bits and pieces of Europe, suggesting the local cuisines and drinks, taking long walks and river-cruise rides, explaining extensive details about each place, and feeling fortunate. It was the year which made me realize that places breathe, and smell too- of happiness, of colors, of life, and, of goodness of people.

The year marked my official entry into this blogging world. I always read about the popular blogging communities, but never quite imagined myself registering for any of them. And then one day, IndiBlogger happened. I remember waiting with bated breath for the "your-blog-has-been-accepted" email, and how incredibly happy I felt afterwards. There has been no looking back since then, only an affirmation of the belief that I am blessed with great people around me, virtually and otherwise. 

It had been a year of goodbyes, with respect to the favorite sport. Sachin retired, and then the cricketer with that familiar green-yellow jersey numbered 3. It marked the end of a major part of my growing up, a part I considered very close to my heart, the part that bore the name of Jacques Kallis :-( 

The year saw not much difference in personal and professional life as compared to the year before, which was quite unexpected, given the close relationship I share(d) with mental turbulence and setbacks. I continue to keep my fingers and legs crossed and mentally thank my stars, well almost. Oh dear stability, how much I missed you!

The year ended with the things I love the most- yummy food, movie-marathon, long conversations, night-outs, sleeping till afternoon, revisiting childhood, baking Christmas cakes, watching distant fireworks on freezing nights, perfect company and general happiness all around :-) On that note, Happy 2014 everyone!